If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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