absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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