Its about making memories worth repressing
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
