I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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