you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
