we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
