so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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