If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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