Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize