He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
