I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
