so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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