did you get engaged???
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
