I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Randomize
