I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My ass is underappreciated
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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