'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
