I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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