do herpes really smell.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
