as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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