new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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