we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
