will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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