I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
