my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
