PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
