Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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