Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
