Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
