i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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