i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
