We won't sleep together?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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