I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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