Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
even my farts smell like vagina
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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