half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
