I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
