and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
