No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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