it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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