Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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