We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this must be what syphilis tastes like
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
