are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
