where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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