We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
