fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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