No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
