Do you still have your period?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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