i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
