That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
