I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
