And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize