I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
