apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
