i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
