It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
