Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
