I just made out with a guy for $7.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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