you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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