My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
