It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
